School(ish).

 On my first day at scool I got a bit of a shock. I had no concept of "sex" or "gender" - I was only 4 ffs! - but I did know that the kids like me were being shepherded in the left door while I was being shepherded in the right (wrong!) door with the goblin kids. With horror I realised that they thought I was a goblin kid too 😟. I also realised very quickly (I was a clever wee lassie) that if I didn't behave like one of them I was going to get a regular beating - this was 1970's macho-shithead west of Scotland after all. So, with mixed success, I tried to be one of them and it was fucking difficult, especially considering that I wouldn't stand up to pee 😝. I still got bullied a bit. But only a bit.

As the years went on I was inching ever closer to insanity. I went to bed every single night praying to gods I didn't believe in "Please let me wake up as a proper girl or don't let me wake up at all." Then puberty hit and I really wanted to just die 😭. At first it wasn't bad, my boobs started growing when I was about 12, I think it was. I was a bit scared that they'd get big enough to be noticeable, but I needn't have worried, they barely reached AA 😔. Then at 14 the horror show started and I started sprouting hair, and growing taller and getting bigger feet, and my voice broke. I cried myself to sleep every night.

My grades started going downhill and all that was going through my head was the need to get rid of the boy bits. I would've cheerfully taken an axe to them. In my first year at uni Hallowe'en came round. Whereas everyone else decided to dress up as someone/thing, I decided to go as me. I shaved my legs and oxters, did what I could with my short hair, put my face on and grabbed a skirt and heels from my wardrobe. It felt soooo good to be out and about as myself for the first time ever. One of my friends took one look at me and ran. When we asked him what was wrong he said, "I fancy ye!" Inside I was giggling and grinning from ear to there 😁. It was bliss that night and the more often I got pulled away from the loo and directed to the Ladies, the more I saw that this didn't have to be for just one night, I could do it.

And the following year I did. I transitioned at 19 in 1985, the youngest ever girl to do so at the time, as far as I'm aware. It's been no cakewalk, but I don't regret it for a second.