Indie Chick.

 So what, if I'm 57? In my head I'm still 19 (but 19 without boy bits) and societal norms can go fuck themselves. So there! 😜 I'm an indie chick.

My inner good and bad consciences are (also) Indie Chick and Goth Bitch. Unfortunately for me, Goth Bitch has been dominant for the last 20 years or so, and the jaded, cynical fucknugget has left me the size of a fucking house end 😡 And because I have cascading angina and use HRT the excess weight is a bastard to get rid of! I've still managed to ditch 4 stone so far (fuck you Goth Bitch) and it seems to be coming off still, if slowy.

So, why has Goth Bitch lost control? Well, fairly recently I was seeing a social worker and she got me thinking about stuff. I have my indie dress 'sense' - I wear what I damn well please and don't give a shit what anybody else thinks. Bollox to fashion! 😜 Then the social worker asked why I couldn't extend that attitude into other areas of my ever-so-slightly fucked up psyche. See Goth Bitch has had Indie Chick locked up in an oubliette, but Indie Chick had still managed to break through and sort out my choice of clothes getting it back on track; getting it back to 'me'. 😁 After creating that crack in the oubliette she's managed to gradually widen it, escape and gain ascendancy again. She is much more 'me' than that other miserable fucker; happy-go-lucky, daft as a brush and young in heart and soul.

I'm not saying life is all rainbows and unicorns - far fucking from it! - but there's no more wallowing in self-pity; she brings me back up within 5 minutes.She's a wild, free spirit and I want to be much more like her. I still love her to bits and because of that I'm starting to love myself a bit more - except the fat bits! 😘